It’s really hard to tell the truth. And telling the truth is also one of the best ways to build trust.
As leaders, it’s always hard to know how much to tell the team. How much of what, you ask? Well, anything really. Why there was a re-org, why the old system is getting replaced with a new system, how decisions were made about a new process, when/if they might expect to get bonuses this year….I dunno. There’s always something.
But I’ve worked with so many teams where there is a general lack of trust, and fear pervades the team because no one really knows what’s going on. When people don’t know what’s going on, many things can happen:
- People fill in the gaps with a narrative that makes sense to them. They take pieces of things they have been told to create a story, and often this story isn’t positive. These stories become truth to many people on the team, and then they are really hard to set right because leadership then looks defensive.
- People don’t believe you when you do finally share. If the truth has been concealed from the team for a long time until leadership feels “ready” to share, then the team will feel like they are still only getting part of the story and leadership will look disingenuous.
- People start to become disengaged. Teams that feel like their leaders don’t share vital context about what’s going on tend to feel like they are not important and not trusted members of the team, so they become disengaged.
I get it that not everything is appropriate to share with the team. Please don’t share things about people’s personal lives. Please also don’t share confidential information that is happening within the business.
But the more we tell the truth, the more trust we will create with the team. The hard part is that telling the truth takes courage. We often try to create a version of the story that everyone will like. And in so doing, we are not really telling the truth. In reality, not everyone on the team will like every decision that is made. Life doesn’t work that way. But even if they don’t like the decision, they still can respect the leader because they know that the leader will be up front about how or why the decision was made.
And that’s where trust comes in. Trust is the goal. Liking things is not the goal. We will never run a business where every person on the team likes all the things all the time. Group dynamics don’t work that way. Even democratic society doesn’t work that way. We have lots of options for how to do things. We have a group of people that is in charge of making the decisions, and the people get to vote. The vote is majority wins, not 100% wins. If your goal was a 100% unanimous vote at all times, literally nothing would get done. So, some people like the decision and some people do not. And the people who didn’t like it, they might like it next time if the vote swings in the direction of their opinion.
Same thing at work. Not all people will be happy with the decisions that are made. So stop trying to spin everything so that everyone will be happy. Everyone won’t be happy. But you can build some really amazing trust when you lead with honesty and transparency about how things are getting done.
Here are some things to try:
- Bring them along with you. If you have a really tough problem to solve – like we didn’t bring in enough revenue this quarter to hit our targets – bring the team along with you on the decision-making journey. Open the problem up to the team to ask for ideas. Some folks might have really good ideas about how to cut costs or create efficiencies. So, when you get to the point of making decisions, the team has been part of the process.
- Show vulnerability. Let the team know that you struggle with some decisions. Maybe you have been asked to create a strategic plan that aligns with a new leader’s vision – but the vision is a significant pivot from the previous direction. Let the team know that you have been asked to pivot, let them know that you are struggling with how to make the shift, invite them in to brainstorm solutions with you.
- Engage early and often. As things are changing, keep them informed. Let them know what you know (as long as it’s able to be shared), and let them know that you’ll continue to keep them informed.
- Tell the truth even when you know they aren’t going to like it. Say that out loud. Say, “I’m concerned that this news is going to be hard for some of us, but it’s important to me to be honest with you about what’s going on.” – Remember it’s about building trust.
The more we have the courage to tell the truth, the more trust we will create. The more trust we create, the more engagement we see. It’s a beautiful act of showing care by being honest.